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| Part 2: Helping |
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It was just after the Bon Festival in August 2001 that I made sure the
completion of the full text of “Waves”, the 40th anniversary collection
of the December Club, published in 1981 (see the table of contents in the separate section).
My next wish, was to challenge the “Waves 2,” a collection of essays commemorating
the 50th anniversary of their graduation, which was to be published 10
years later to celebrate most of their 70th birthday. This one is much
thicker, but after all this time, the thought of “I'd better go all the
way to ......,” or something like that, is starting to occur to me. It
is impossible for me to accomplish this on my own, but as my motivation
grows, so do my dreams.
As a result, my conventional lifestyle pattern has to be disrupted in order
to focus on this one thing.
I decided to stop hiking in the mountains I had been following for the past three years in July, when I hiked Mt. Kurofu, though I had become addicted to hiking and had even developed a rapport with my friends in the Sanpokai Circle.
Instead, I accepted my wife's strong recommendation and started attending a nearby tennis school. The lessons are once a week for an hour and a half.
The KKR job I had accepted since this April as “an instructor of computer
classes and a coordinator of get-togethers at hot spring resorts” became
a heavy burden against my will.
I wondered whether I should suspend it from the fall until the end of the
year, when the project would come to an end, but such an idea would be
too selfish of me. So, I applied for the withdrawal from the project after
the fall. I have been allowed to go on with my own work in a most inconvenient
way. Ten years later now, I still regret it.
Body modifications due to overworked desk jobs are inevitable. I was concerned
about my blurred vision when suddenly a kaleidoscope appeared in front
of my eyes. Psychedelic colors covered my eyes, and I felt as if I had
been blinded. My wife is working at my company in Toyocho. She takes care
of accounting and other chores.
I lay down on the wooden floor for about 30 minutes. The kaleidoscope was
beginning to disappear from the center of the room, the same symptom as
when I was working on the computer at the company about 10 years ago. At
that time, I was taken care of at the clinic on the same floor, and everything
got to be fine. The lady doctor's diagnosis was "overwork and excessive
use of the eyes." I limited my time on the computer as much as possible.
That was not the case this time. The next day, I decided to take a walk
after lunch for a while, but I had a strong desire to spend more time on
the computer. I continued to work, relying on eye drops prescribed by the
ophthalmologist and blood pressure and blood flow medications prescribed
by the neurologist. I keep my wife in the dark. I don't want her to worry
unnecessarily, and I don't want her to think that my thoughts will be swayed
by my wife's quips.
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To the extent that I am undertaking this project, I may have accomplished it at this stage. But it is a unique chance to feel a sense of purpose in life. If I collapse after all I've done, it will be worth it. It's an extra life that I almost lost 15 years ago to a brain infarction. I'm sure I'm not going to make it, but I have this self-deprecating sense of coolness in the corner of my mind. I can't help it, because it is my personality rather than a matter of right or wrong. In short, not only to accomplish the December Club's immediate wishes, but also I'll push forward to go as far as I can, because it's a good opportunity.
Now the dream has become a desire. When I compare the size of dream with
the limits of my own strength, I inevitably need help. In this case, it
is not possible to volunteer as I did. I wondered if the budget of the
December Club would be enough to cover the expenses. |
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In the meantime, I will consult with Director T of the Josuikai.
I will continue to work on the commemorative book, including the 30th anniversary,
but I will ask Ms. W about the commemorative album and the club newsletter.
She runs an IT company and has an office in Yokohama.
The December club agreed to her estimate. At that time, Director T and December Club itself urged me to charge the actual cost of the project, but I firmly refused. If it were not free of charge, it would be meaningless to me. It would be a definite blow to my ambition. This is the quintessence of the Tora-san man.
This means that someday the December Club's written assets will be viewable
on anyone's computer via the Internet. How far can we go to make it in
time for the anniversary general meeting this December?
Ms. W. has agreed to cooperate with me beyond her business. She was a strong
adviser not only on the technical aspects, which I could not handle, but
also on the unveiling of the new product, and spared no time or effort.
I think I may have been practically inconvenienced at times to her because
she was working in tandem with a stubborn guy.
Her company produced the CDs for the gifts.
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I was asked by the December Club executive to write about my thoughts on
this website.
I wrote this in response to his request, and it was published in the “Voices
of the Juniors” plaza. I am reprinting it here, even though it is a bit
racy in character and affected. |
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The year was 1941, exactly 60 years ago, when I was one year old.
In December of that year, due to the outbreak of the Pacific War, all of
our predecessors at universities throughout Japan were forced to have an
advancd graduation in December, not in March of the following year, 1942,
and immediately to enter the military service. Many of them died in the
war, and the survivors, while suffering a harsh fate, have devoted themselves
to the postwar reconstruction of Japan. The average age of the survivors
is now 83 (as of 2001).
That year, 352 students graduated from Hitotsubashi University (then Tokyo
University of Commerce) early in December, not in March of the following
year. Then, 35 of them were killed in the war. This year, which marks the
60th anniversary of the graduation, the number of survivors is 142 (as
of September 25, 2001).
The classmates of this year named their group as the “December Club,” and
their friendship and ties have grown stronger and stronger to this day.
Since their graduation until now, they have left behind a large number
of documents and materials at each milestone. Most of them are kept in
the library of Josuikaikan Hall, but there is a fear that they will be
forgotten as time goes by.
If so, the precious assets that they wrote in their own handwriting, which could be called “a guidepost for future generations,” may be burnt to ashes without enlightening not only our younger colleagues but also many others.
To commemorate the 60th anniversary of their graduation in December of
this year, those interested started a project last summer to create a homepage
for their documents and materials (initially, however, the plan was to
limit the contents to a table of contents and to inform of the whole detailed
contents in the Josui Kaikan Library).
Then, in March last year, I met Mr. Y at a JFN off-line meeting, and I
decided to participate in the project as one of the workers.
The HP project has escalated from “posting only a table of contents” to
“making all the documents available on the HP so that they will be widely
seen by future generations.”
The December Club's documentary assets can be summarized into the following
six categories
Graduation Album (1941)
25th Anniversary Album (1966)
30th Anniversary Collection (1971)
40th Anniversary Collection “Waves” (1981)
50th Anniversary Collection “Waves 2” (1991)
December Club Newsletter (up to 2001 now, 3 times a year)
Although it is impossible to put all of the above documents on the website
by the 60th Anniversary General Meeting in December, the enthusiasm of
the seniors remains the same: "We want all of the documents, even
if it takes time.
Each document is a real historical background, and the voices of the living
and the real are alive and well. At the same time, in the sense that there
is a strong flow throughout the entire book, this asset can be considered
to rank among Japan's "microhistories.
It is no exaggeration to say that it not only contributes to Hitotsubashi
University's modern history, but also complements Japan's modern Showa
history. Moreover, not all of them were written by outside enthusiasts
or bureaucrats, but by senior scholars who have written their own “blood-spattered”
life paths.
Therefore, I am convinced that the materials do not belong to a “past to
be unraveled,” but rather are a goldmine of “learning from the past” for
future generations.
The “December Club Home Page” is still a work in progress, but here is the table of contents with an idea of how it will look when completed.
1. What is the December Club
The purpose and contents of its formation, and an outline of its extensive
activities (contributed by Mr. N, the first secretary general)
2. Social gatherings, clubs, and committees
History of various events, social gatherings, golf, mahjong, overseas trips,
etc., and minutes of the website construction process since last year
3. Retrospect, recent report
A lot of sentences that do not flow into retro, but pulsate with life-long
youth
4. December Club News
A collection of lectures, discussions, and articles on a wide range of
topics, including military history, economics, diplomacy, religion, education,
and society. Currently only a table of contents, but all contents will
eventually be made into a homepage.
5. Records
The above six collections of writings and albums
This is a source of information covering the majority of the 20th century,
from the eve of the Pacific War to the present day, highlighting the turbulent
background of the times, and weaving warp to warp the youth, frustrations,
friendships, and bonds of the willingly young.
"The water is deep and the river is quiet," is a saying often
uttered by Y senpai.
Also, in the “50th Anniversary Collection” (Wave 2), someone quoted Samuel
Ullman's words as follows:
“Youth is not a period of life, but an aspect of the mind.”
The December Club Home Page is a hymn to the heroic lives of these seniors, full of the proud past and encouraging to us all.
I hope that this homepage, which is also significant as a source of information
on Showa history, will be loved by many more people and contribute to a
shining Japan in the future.
SK (2001.10.21)
Graduated from the Department
of Sociology in 1964
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I am a softhearted person much more than other people and have a bad habit of being too ready to promise. A softhearted person may only feel ashamed and be laughed at by others. However, a person too ready to promise may hurt others and give them a trouble in the result.
In addition, such a vain person, because of a nature being afraid of exposing
his/her emaciated figure, shows off the cheer and health itself to the
others and gives them misunderstanding. He/she cannot be rewarded with
the gratitude as expected.
During my time at my former company (D Steel) and in the associations that
I joined after starting my own business, my personality was such that the
hard work I put in without people's knowledge sometimes antagonized them.
Each time, my wife had to be at odds with me, and I had to go right back
to her.
In this case, too, I dug my grave at the end, despite such an empirical
life lesson: "People are more rooted in what you did not do for them
than in what they are grateful for.
When the goal was in sight with Y senior, the relation of the two of us got contrary.
I was already exhausted and breathing a sigh of relief. While working at
home, I dreamed of relaxing on the travel road. The computer made me nauseous,
or so I honestly thought. I was waiting for the release from the spell
that was about to be cast upon me, and I was ready to cut the ribbon at
the finish line. I should have shown that a little.
On the other hand, Mr. Y's dream is expanding toward after the unveiling.
He would like to make the “Latest New” column more substantial, and to
utilize it as a place for members to interact with each other. He is confident
in his computer knowledge, which is unmatched by me. He told me about his
vision and asked for my continual cooperation.
I should have said clearly, “I will cooperate with you until the unveiling,”
but instead I might look positive and ambiguous. This is another example
of my bad character of being indecisive and having a good eye for all sides.
I was the one who betrayed my seniors' expectations, buried the greatest
sense of accomplishment and happiness in the darkness, and made the intimate
relationship with the December Club sour.
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| Part 2 Reading (27:08) on |
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